“TIPS” For Playing Golf With Your Wife
TIPS FOR PLAYING GOLF WITH YOUR WIFE
Before I dive into the touchy subject of husbands playing golf with their wives, I think it would be astute of me to admit that I’ve not always followed these tips. In fact, I’m kind of the poster boy for How to Make Playing Golf With Your Wife a Miserable Experience. So here, in no particular order, are my suggestions on how to make spousal golf enjoyable.
1. You don’t like it when you get constant unsolicited advice from your male playing partners. What makes you think your wife would? A game of golf is supposed to be fun. Keep the lectures in the classroom.
2. If you’re a good player, expect to lose to your wife who carries a 28 handicap.
3. Don’t show your excitement when finally winning a hole. She probably isn’t even aware of this.
4. Congratulate every shot that gets airborne, especially off the tee.
5. If you’re holding up the group behind you, invite them to play through, don’t harp on your wife to play faster.
6. When you hit a bad shot, don’t throw your usual tantrum. Nothing turns a wife off more than seeing you lose it about something so trivial.
7. You’ll earn points by spending more time discussing golf etiquette than golf rules.
8. The only time it’s acceptable to raise your voice is to say “Great shot, honey!”
9. After another five-putt, don’t forget to mention how tough the greens are.
10. After holding it in for five hours, a primal scream will do you a lot of good. Just make sure your wife can’t hear you or you’ll have a lot of explaining to do.
One last word: For the women out there who are better golfers than their husbands, these rules work by reversing all the gender-specific phrases. I hope this caveat will keep me out of the doghouse at home!